best mcdonalds uniform ever!

that pun has aged so well since the early 1993. and comic sans is the greatest font ever. not.

smart-arsery at work

a freelancer who works next to me had to hand off some files to one of the designers that he did not know.

he waved me over to his space and in hushed tones asked, "which one is lauren?"

i also responded in a whisper because i guess he didn't want to look silly talking about it in a normal voice.

"she sits in-between jen and andrew." i replied.

"i don't know those people. what does she look like?" he volleyed back.

"she's pretty, real petite, has black hair and is always twirling her beaded necklace." i returned.

"they're ALL pretty and petite with black hair and beaded necklaces! that doesn't help!" he said in a slightly raised tone. "which one?!?"

"you know, lauren..." i said. i turned away and while looking off in the distance said, "her hair smells like a field of lilacs on a warm spring day and her eyes are like the glassy sea after a storm."

he stared at me and in a very calculated, low tone he muttered, "you're a douche."

then we both laughed.

even vader gets the blues

a coworker just showed this to me.

GENIUS!

visit sunny dayton, ohio!

this is an actual shot from the local tv station's weather cam.


i was discussing with a coworker about dayton's need for a strategic rebranding.

i was thinking "welcome to dayton! we're the seattle of the midwest... minus the cultural significance, thriving downtown and reasonable property value."

it sure beats the current positioning "planning a suicide? come to dayton, ohio! we're there when you need us."

my obsessive compulsive grammar issues

i was listening to an internet radio station and they were touting their programming with the slogan "new music - 24/7/365"

it occurred to me that whoever decided to tack on the 365 is an idiot.

it had always kind of bugged me when someone said it that way but i never thought about it until this morning.

logic says that the phrase should follow the ratio of days to weeks to years. the correct phrase would then be 24/7/52.

but the mental giant who first decided to use the 365 day qualifier is following a days to weeks to days ratio.

that would be like saying "every year, ten years a decade, 100 years a century."

thank god i'm not prone to physical violence because i sometimes fantasize taking a bat to the heads of these nincompoops.

at least afterward their bad grammar could be blamed on blunt head trauma.

next rant subject: people who say "happy medium." i heard it no less than 10 times in a meeting last week.

party on, wayne

what's the right emoticon for soul-piercing dispair?

i sent a text message with a smiley face emoticon yesterday when the recipient sarcastically questioned the sincerity of my colon-hyphen-parenthesis.

i response i replied:

darn emoticons! they can never truly express the complexity of the emotions that i'm experiencing. and that makes me :-(

suh-weeet desk toys

i am totally getting these for me desk at work.

unless someone wants to buy them for me first.

pun of the week

a group from work went out to eat at p.f. chang to send off one of the interns who was leaving.

i ordered chicken lo mein and it was tasty.

the guy next to me enquired as to whether or not the dish met my strict culinary standards.

"how's the lo mein?" he asked.

"it's my mein thang." i replied.

i guess you had to be there.

no wonder snuffy can't run fast

i found this on the itunes store the other day.


are they ever going to explain what elmo's condition is?

desk toys rule!

i found galactus @ meijer over the weekend. gotta represent classic ff on my computer.

scan-o-rama 2007

so i wrote about granny passing away a couple of months ago.

well, as is bound to happen, her earthly possessions soon got dispersed among my family members.

fortunately, i had the presence of mind to request of my aunts and uncle to be able to scan all of granny's photos before they disappeared with random relatives.

anyhoo, i'm learning that my great-grandmother went through a little shutterbug phase.

some of the compositions are actually quite good.

take the photo below for example.


the leading lines of the tree on the left. joyce in the background. ronny crouching in the foreground.

i found myself staring at this one for a long time.

i mentioned it to my aunt last week and she said that she vividly remembers taking this one.

apparently, granny composed the shot and told them to run around and act silly in the framed area. she then yelled for them to freeze and snapped it off.

the most awesome thing is that there are no other shots with this set-up.

i mean, i would easily spend an hour just taking shots of this one composition.

she may no longer be with us physically, but i am still in awe of her intelligence.

that's my granny!

more pics to come as i retouch them...

the face of mind-numbing boredom

a teammate brought his kid in. it's 1130pm. poor guy is bored out of his skull.

my typical concert experience

by no means am i a little man, but somehow i always end up behind this dude.