my wacky subconscious

i had this crazy dream the other night that actually made me wake up from laughing in my sleep.

my friends, troy and stacy, were doing relief work in new orleans over the holiday break and i dreamt that i was at their apartment and they were regaling me with tales of their experience.

we were all having a great time when stacy stops the conversation with a major announcement.

"ohmigosh! noah!" she exclaimed, (stacy gets very excited when she talks in real life) "we met the perfect girl for you in new orleans!"

having been single for a long time, i can easily recognize when my married friends are scoping me out for potential matchmaking. i sensed this when i first started getting to know troy and stacy. now apparently it was being manifested in my subconscious.

in the dream, stacy began listing all of this mystery girl's wonderful attributes.

"ohmigosh! she is so cute! she's so funny too."

dream-noah was intrigued, but in my waking hours, i had been fooled by these claims before.

"she's very devoted to her faith and is even learning chinese to expand her preaching work!"

these things were more pluses on the potential lady-friend's scorecard, so i asked stacy to continue.

"she's so kind and wonderful! troy and i just love her!"

my dream-self then looked at troy to get his verification. he nodded his head yes and gave me the thumbs up. all signs were looking positive. i was becoming eager to meet this dream-girl.

i asked stacy to tell me more.

"ohmigosh! the best thing... she wears the cutest underwear!!!"

this kind of caught me off guard in the dream, but not in a bad way.

stacy continued, "i stole some of her panties while we were there. do you want to see them?"

she then reached into a duffle bag and pulled out a tiny pair of women's underwear with the words "girls rock!" screen printed across the back.

my dream-self was convinced that they were, in fact, cute.

"wait! there's more!" said stacy, as she pulled out another pair.

these were normal-sized with the familiar "i (heart) ny" logo on the back.

also cute.

"but check these ones out!" she said as she pulled another pair out that were slightly larger.

what followed in the dream almost reminds me of the classic clown gag where the endless hankies tied end-to-end keep coming out of a sleeve.

stacy continued pulling out progressively larger and larger pairs of women's underwear with screen printing on the behinds until the last pair was the size of a small boat cover.

i went from being intrigued to mortified.

i can't remember what the last pair was emblazoned with, but i do remember thinking that it was odd, first of all, that stacy had stolen so many panties and secondly that, in my dream-world there exists a silk-screener that specialized in printing on such large materials.

even funnier, when i recounted this dream to troy, stacy's husband, he said, "that sounds like something she'd do."