movies that changed my life, part 1

as a teenager, i was very self-conscious about my body.

this is not a unique thing. in fact, i would say it's part of the modern human experience.

a certain movie came out when i was seventeen that propelled my insecurities to everest-level heights.

that movie was austin powers: the spy who shagged me.

i do admit that i was as enthralled with this character as the rest of the country.

i was known to let a "yeah, baby!" fly from time to time.

however, from that time forward, i was no longer able to remove my shirt in publc places.

pools and beaches were to be avoided at all cost.

i have a hairy chest. a lot of men do.

even now, 10 years later, i cannot frequent these places without hearing some idiot put on their best mike myers impersonation.

girlfriends, family members, small children, it doesn't matter, they all do it and think it is the most clever thing they've ever said.

here's an idea! when a kid with a stutter comes around, we can all start saying, "that's all folks!" and giggle right to his face.

i hate you, mike myers and your stupid movie.