funniest thing i've heard this week

my sister and brother-in-law were visiting from out of town this past week and some of his friends came in from celina to go out to eat with us.

they also had relatives who were visiting so we all decided to hit a local thai restaurant.

first thing's first: possibly the best won ton soup i've ever had in my life there (and i've consumed a bit in my time).

secondly, i'm glad i'm not, nor have i ever been a stupid teenage guy who feels the need to prove his masculinity to all around him.

i watched as two kids raced to finish their number 12 (the spiciest in the menu) thai chicken.

these guys had sweat absolutely poring down their faces. each only stopping for water, breathe or the occasional forehead and nose wipe.

i remain mystified as to the relationship between accomplishing this sophomoric feat and the size of one's manhood.

...

so here's the funniest thing.

one of the little kids in the group, a five year old named landon, was walking around with a model ferrari in his hands.

since i always enjoy messing with kids, i got his attention and enquired about the toy.

he informed me that it was a ferrari and that it was very fast.

i asked him if it was the kind of car that he was going to drive when he grows up.

in a matter-of-fact way, he said, "nope. i'm gonna drive a dodge diesel truck."

i then furthered the questioning, "but what if you wan't to go really fast, like lightning mcqueen?"

he pondered this for a while and choosing his words carefully, said, "well... maybe... i would have both... a lightning mcqueen car AND a diesel truck."

continuing on with the interrogation, i asked, "but what if you want to take all of your friends out? would you also get a minivan?"

he screwed his face up at the sheer audacity of my question. "NO!" he said emphatically, "minivans are JUNK!!!"

enjoying the reaction, i pursued the subject, "you know what would be even better for hauling all your friends around? a schoolbus! don't you want one of those?"

his repugnance of the thought again showed all over his face. "NO WAY!!! they're junk too!!!"

"but what if you got a really cool paint job on it, like dragons and flames? would you drive it then?"

"no!"

"what if you could put a tv and couches in it?"

"nope!"

"what if you could put a playground and jungle gym inside?"

he paused.

"would it have mulch on the floor too?"

"not the stinky kind." i replied, as if this would be the deciding factor.

pursuing the thought further, i asked, "what if you could get one with a pool inside and a slide and a diving board? would you drive a bus then?"

"yeeaaahhh..." he said, warming to the thought. "then you could pee in your car and noone would notice!"

i laughed so loud that i think the entire restaurant turned to look at me.