please tell me it's a long "I"

I suddenly thought of a wonderful hotline that's all about bums.

it's 3 o'clock and time for his nap

what else is an older brother going to do with newfound video capabilities than torture his baby brother.

so what if i was 25 years old?

this stuff is hilarious!

the amazing maize maze!

i refuse to call it a corn maze.

not after all of the suffering that my native american forefathers went through.

plus maize maze sounds awesomer.


let me first say that for 4 years running, i was the maize maze master.

i had always lead the team that was the first to collect all sections of the map and exit the maze successfully.

until this guy happened.


meet alex, my cousin raven's significant other. or as i prefer to call him "dead weight."

he cost me my championship.

but i guess raven likes him so my only choice is to work harder in the off-season and come back stronger next year.

second place is not appropriate for a champion maize mazer like myself.

check the pics...

me and miranda


livie, sarah, morgan, lexie, rachel


nick, amber, autumn, lauren, lindsey, harrison


ciara


kanye


the twins seem to get taller every year


aunt joyce, robert


uncle ronny & aunt mary


steve


anthony, autumn, amber, harrison


cinnamon (she rocks rough and tough with her afro puffs)


lillian


mason


mom


dad


kristin & gary (man that guy's got some strong genes)


ciara and me


me and anthony


hooray for melody! she organized the whole thing!


afterwards we went to mel-mel's and sat around a campfire that was in a fire ring that harrison welded himself.


dog pile


cheyenne, tyra, miranda



but possibly the coolest thing ever was the launching of the pumpkin from the giant pressure cannon. rednecks with engineering degrees from ITT Tech can launch anything!

*video to come*

so smooth and creamy... like peanut butter

highlights from cedar point

that was the lyric of the weekend.

i was convinced that ian was just pulling my chain when he told me that this was an actual verse from a jack johnson song.

we argued about it so long that it became the joke of the day while we were at cedar point.

some friends of mine came in from new york and we all had fun at cedar point. yay!

some highlights include:

- the lines, the lines, the lines

– (sniffle) it was my last weekend with ian and megan before they move to memphis. check out this scary crew.


- my hat flew off on the millennium force but this guy in the car behind me totally caught it. awesome! here he is with his lady-friend.

- not to be crude but i was kind of disconcerted at the phallic nature of several of the rides. don't believe me? look at this photo from their own website.


- i discovered that rebecca is a fellow battlestar galactica fan. we had a nerd bonding moment.


- a paid $12 for a beer. ridiculous! but... it came in a boot! totally worth it!


- holy crap! the dragster was insane! 120mph in 4 seconds flat. check out this video.

*video to come*

- on the way there, ian was driving and he complained that the glare from the sun was deafening. i then asked him to turn down his radio because it was blindingly loud.

more pics below...

yummy vending machine burger

found this in the vending machine at work.

i thought it was pronounced "big arizona burger".

my co-workers tell me I'm wrong.

no hay-blow a-spaniel muy bee-uhn

we were double checking some bilingual copy using the mac language translator.

the english side says "open year-round"

this is what you get when you forget to add a tilde.

support dayton businesses, ice out yo grill

my baby mama be hatin' but i gots to represent, ya heard?

i live less than 2 miles from this fine establishment.

my dulcet vocal tones

earlier this week i had to interact with one of our clients over the phone.

i had never met the man face-to-face but, as always, i did my best maintain my professional decorum and meet the needs of the moment.

whenever dealing with a client, i try to speak clearly and choose my words carefully.

i do my best to be calm and reassuring regarding whatever issues they may have.

this morning, my boss told me that this client likes to play a game where he mentally pictures the voice on the other end of the phone.

the client told my boss, "i imagine he's in his mid-forties..."

"stop right there, you're already wrong." my boss interjected.

the client continued, "i see him as being small and kind of frail."

"not even..." my boss replied.

"i imagined a kindly older gentleman because he was just so calm and professional on the phone. he immediately put me at ease. and he turned all the files around so quickly." the client said.

"that's why we hired him." my boss complied.

in two weeks, the client is coming into town for meetings and i get to meet him then.

in the mean time, i've decided to talk like scooby-doo whenever he calls me.

i can hear it now, "i'm rorry, rat readrine rust isn't rearistic. ruh-hee-heee-hee!"

what is "i'm a stupid poopy face who doesn't know squat?"

it's kid's week on jeopardy.

nothing is better than the ego boost that i get when i think about how i could totally mop the floor with the ten- to thirteen-year-old stupid-heads competing this week.

so what if i'm 28 years old? i would own all of their sorry little butts.

i've even pondered my amazing performance in final jeopardy.

of course, trebek would call on me last because it would be a total runaway game.

i would write down, "what is 'are you there god, it's me margaret?'" but instead of writing "hi, mom!" and a smiley face beside my answer, i'd write the phrase "in your face, losers! noah rulez!"

then i'd hop up on the podium, do the running man and twirl my buzzer over my head while questioning the marital status of the other contestant's mothers at the time of their conception.

alas, this fantasy only lasts until the tournament of champions round, then it's back to being only slightly less stupid than the rest of the bipeds around me.

blackmail 2.0

back by popular demand, a little video of my brother-in-law and his brothers trying to cut a piece of rebar with bolt cutters.

the titles, slow-motion effect, lens blur and al green music are purely accidental.

look out shakira

since i finally got myself a youtube account i'll be posting my goofy videos.

first up, my lovely sister's brilliant shakira impersonation from our camping trip to shawnee in 2004.

she's been begging me to post it so she can show her teenage girlfriends what a doofus she was as a teenager.

behold.

shawnee 2007 recap

man, did i need a vacation.

i don't want to be too verbose, so i'll just say i had a great time.

here's some pictures.

ponci and ciara.



and let's not forget lexie.



and the teenagers... yikes.



after we went horseback riding, we pulled into the park to see all of the sweaty boys playing touch football with their shirts off for the teenage girlies.

upon seeing this, i pondered aloud, "do you think they argued over which side got to be skins and which side had to be shirts?"

speaking of the horseback ride, i dropped my camera and almost lost it forever, but the trail guide went back for it. phew! that thing was brand new!



and here's my horse, it's name was bandit.



while we're on the subject of amazing animals, here's my sister and brother-in-law's dog playing fetch in the lake.




and now more goofy teenagers...





ciara with a snake!



i don't know how this one got taken, but that's me and my thinning hairline fixing olivia's bike.



and the princess.



jenna, mom and mel-mel.



felicia, lexie and harrison.



kristin shooting daggers at me.



cassandra.



my 7-yr-old cousin, preston's current lady-love, sarah - the cutest little girl ever.



before my camera died, i managed to get some group shots in.




the happy couple - try to suppress your gag reflex.



finally, my favorite performance of the trip was preston's rendition of the spider-man theme song.

sorry for the crappy video.



in case you didn't catch it, here's the lyrics:

spider-man, spider-man
does whatever a spider-man does
can he swing from a web?
yes, he can, cuz he's a spider.
look out! here comes spider-man!

great trip... a little frickin' hot but great nonetheless.