what is "i'm a stupid poopy face who doesn't know squat?"

it's kid's week on jeopardy.

nothing is better than the ego boost that i get when i think about how i could totally mop the floor with the ten- to thirteen-year-old stupid-heads competing this week.

so what if i'm 28 years old? i would own all of their sorry little butts.

i've even pondered my amazing performance in final jeopardy.

of course, trebek would call on me last because it would be a total runaway game.

i would write down, "what is 'are you there god, it's me margaret?'" but instead of writing "hi, mom!" and a smiley face beside my answer, i'd write the phrase "in your face, losers! noah rulez!"

then i'd hop up on the podium, do the running man and twirl my buzzer over my head while questioning the marital status of the other contestant's mothers at the time of their conception.

alas, this fantasy only lasts until the tournament of champions round, then it's back to being only slightly less stupid than the rest of the bipeds around me.